To Forget
by fairiekween13
Summary: She drinks to forget, and she forgets because remembering is too hard.


Hey, this is my second story so go easy on me huh?

Disclaimer: I don't own "That's So Raven"._

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**To Forget**

"Mom? I'm home." I say as I walk in the door. No answer. _Am I surprised?_ _Nope. _

I walk into the kitchen and grab a bottle out of the fridge. I have no idea what it is, it doesn't matter it all has the same effect.

I head up to my room and collapse on the bed_. Today had been one of the harder ones. _I think as I take a drink of the horrible liquid in my hand. After, I think, _Why the hell do I drink this stuff?_ And then I start to forget. _That's why. _I think bitterly before taking another drink. This one is long and I can feel the burning liquid scorching my throat.

I close my eyes and try to remember before…. before all this shit started to happen……before he came. I tried to remember a time when he wasn't a part of my life. And realized I couldn't. I started to laugh and then took another drink but this one I just let sit in my mouth for a few moments before I swallow it.

There are some days I just want to quit. Give up this fuckin' façade. Like today for instance, as usual she was bitchin' to us about how her parents grounded her for being out to late with Devon. At least her parents give a shit. I take another drink, this one small, barely even a sip.

They wonder why I never invite them over, I always come up with an excuse. Example: Me and my parents are going out of town for a few days, we're leaving this afternoon. Or: Sorry, I'm cooking dinner tonight, gotta get started early. They're both complete morons. How could they not notice the bruises? Than again, I've become a very skilled make-up artist. I take another drink of the vile liquid and end up draining the bottle.

I hear a door slam and footsteps on the stairs. The only thought that registered before my door was slammed open was, _Oh shit. _He stood in my doorway and just stared at me. He stumbled over to my bed and I can tell he's pretty wasted. I'm able to roll off the bed before he falls on it. while he tries to figure out why I'm not under him, I make a run for the door, race down the steps, grab his keys, and run out the front door while he falls down the stairs. I get in his truck and start to head for the motel.

As I was driving around I realized I don't get drunk easily. It takes 13 bottles of straight vodka before I'm completely trashed. I found this out during the Christmas of '03. That was the Christmas she told me he was my only legal guardian. She had given up her right. That bitch. God I hate her. _Damn I need some vodka! _I think as I pull into the motel parking lot. I can't go home tonight, so I'll sleep here.

I go up to the counter and see Mac, the manager, smoking at the front desk. I walk up and he turns my way. "Again?" he asks as I nod my head. "That's the third time this week, and it's only Thursday." "Yeah. Whatever just get me a room." I don't feel like being nice.

He leads me to the back and I shut the door when he leaves. I climb into the bed and try to go to sleep. It doesn't happen. I start to think about the way I act at school. I know I come off as an idiot. I do it on purpose. It's the perfect mask, simple Chelsea, nothing's complicated in her life. The last thing I remember thinking before sleep claimed me was, S_tupid bastards. If you only knew….. If you only knew... _

I woke up around 8:30 the next morning and snuck out the window._ I'll pay Mac the next time I come_, I think as I get in the truck. It's Friday and I don't feel like going to school. When I get home I park in the garage and let myself in. "Mom? I'm home." I say as I head toward the kitchen. No answer. _Am I surprised? Nope. _I grabbed a beer and headed towards my room. As I walk up the stairs, I think _Why do I drink this shit? _I take a gulp and say with a bitter smile as I walk into my room and slam the door, "Oh yeah, I like to forget."

A/N: what do you think? Please review. I've never written anything like this before.


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